The road to hell is paid with good intentions. I heard that phrase so many times throughout my young life. I continue to hear it in my head in my adult life when I try to do something I feel is a good idea and then it falls apart. Much like starting this website.
I had the best of intentions in starting it. Just talking about everyday topics and putting thoughts out there. How hard could that be? Just a few minutes each day? Well, for those of you that were so kind to follow, it has become a monumental task!!
First, my health has crashed. I have spent so much time in hospitals, doctor’s offices, surgeries, physical therapy, tests and treatments, that I am burned out from it! I didn’t think it was possible to get burned out from that, but here we are. Things are somewhat stable, but the appointments have not slowed down. The worst part of it all is it is not focused on just one system, it on numerous systems. So, being poked and prodded everywhere has not been fun or comfortable!
I have been issued so many medical devices, I don’t even know where to begin. I literally have books I need to read so I can operate this stuff. I have an implant in me that has two devices that control it. There are six manuals I have to read to learn to operate it so I can tell other doctors what to do if they need to do tests and procedures on me. I have to carry these controllers all the time in case something happens to me. It’s like carrying three cell phones!!
Then there is family heath issues. My poor wife is recovering from extensive shoulder surgery. I feel so sorry for her. Her surgeon was shocked at how bad it was. Her rotator cuff was completely torn and the muscle receded two centimeters. They had to re-anchor the muscle and reconnect it. Then clean up spurring and arthritis. She is now going through physical therapy and she is in a lot of pain. She is a real trooper and hanging in there.
In addition to that for her, she is having to deal with the passing of her Mom. That in itself has been a source of incredible stress for her. As anyone who has lost a parent knows, it is extremely difficult knowing that the one who raised you and provided for you is no longer around to talk to.
It is unbelievable to me that we are already in to 2024!
To those that know me, I know I am not good at calling or visiting. It goes back to my childhood. I dealt with a lot of rejection. Plus, I was bullied relentlessly. So, I stayed to myself and that has carried over into my adult life. Believe me, if I don’t call or visit, it isn’t a sign that I don’t care, it is purely due to what I went through in my childhood.
On that note, I will say that I am not giving up on trying to work on this website. I feel too strongly about just talking about life.
Cherish every moment with your family and friends! We are not guaranteed the next minute of our lives. Make the most of what you have right now!!!